Spam R Us

Wow, has it been that long since I've posted. What a useless twat I am. Can't even blog on a continuing basis.

I've been getting a lot of spam for the past few months. Casino's, Viagra, and oh yes, TD Waterhouse asking for my password and debit card number. And also CIBC ditto.
You pretty much name it and I've gotten it. Think I have finally managed to get my email set up so unless they know my actual name it won't come through.
Few days ago, I received this one from my internet provider (supposedly):

We are deleting all unused ROGERS email account to create more space for new accounts.email account owner that refuses to update his or her account within 48hrs of receiving this warning will lose his or her account permanently.to prevent your account from closing.please send us your email and password to update your email account.confirm your email and password below.

Email :
Password :
Telephone :
Country :
Warning!!! account owner that refuses to update his or her account before 48hrs of receiving this warning will lose his or her account permanently.


I soooooo want to reply to this. But know it will just open me up for billions of more spam coming in. 
Here's samples of more krap I've gotten recently. 

FedEx
Order: SGH-3043-1910427344
Order Date: Monday, 2 December 2012, 12:32 AM
Dear Customer, Your parcel has arrived at the post office at December 7.Our postrider was unable to deliver the parcel to you. To receive a parcel, please, go to the nearest our office and show this postal receipt.
	GET POSTAL RECEIPT
Best Regards, The FedEx Team.

Ah, yes the old "Get postal receipt in the email trick!"
and 

You're receiving this note as a Certified Public Accountant and a member of AICPA. Having problems reading this email? See it in your browser.

Suspension of Public Account Status due to tax return fraud prosecution

Dear accountant officer, We have received a denouncement about your potential interest in income tax fraudulent activity   for one of your employers. In obedience to AICPA Bylaw Head # 740 your Certified Public Accountant status can be cancelled in case of the aiding of submitting of a sham or fraudulent tax return for your client or employer.  Please be notified below and provide explanation of this issue to it within 21 business days. The failure to respond within this time-frame will finish in decline of your Certified Accountant Career. SubmittedReport.pdf

The American Institute of Certified Public Accountants. Not quite sure what to make of this one, but since I didn't ask for it, figure there's a scam in here somewhere.  And lastly, my favourite...

From Mr. David Morris

My greetings of the day to you,

I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise as we never met before. 

I am aware that this is certainly an unconventional approach to Starting a business relationship but I believe knowing each other starts from a step of which I believe I am not making a mistake exposing this very important business deal to you? it is my urgent need for a foreign partner that has caused me to send this to you. I apologized if you find this intrusive, but there is an opportunity for both of us to work together and make clean money that is left over for nobody to claim.
Firstly, let me start by identifying myself. My name is Mr. David Morris. I am the Auditor general of the bank. I am writing to solicit your assistance in the transfer of Ten million seven hundred fifty thousand POUNDS (£10,750.000.00). 

This fund is the excess of what my branch in which I am the manager made as profit during the last three years. I have already submitted an approved End of the Year report to my Head Office here in Ghana and they will never know of this Excess. I have since then, placed this amount of (£10,750.000.00) On a SUSPENSE ACCOUNT without a beneficiary. 

As an officer of the bank, I cannot be directly connected to this money thus I am impelled to request for your assistance to receive this money into your bank account. I intend to give 35% of this fund to you while 65% shall be for me. I do need to stress that there are practically no risk involved in this. It is going to be a bank-to-bank transfer to your nominated bank account anywhere of your choice. All I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of this fund by sending your account details for the immediate transfer of the fund to the account.If you accept this offer, I will appreciate your timely response so that we can proceed with the transfer immediately.

Regards,
Mr. David Morris.

People Are Dumb

Well that's just silly! Everyone knows cameras only take 2 dimensional pictures.

Lust for life

This is your life, do with it what you will. It comes with no directions or owners manual other than feed it, water it, breathe.
You can abuse it any way you like.
Drugs, alcohol, food, self mutilation, suicide attempts.
Whatever you desire.
You can be happy all the time, or miserable. It's your choice.
But know this, you only get one.
____________
So I don't know if I'm plagiarising the above or bastardising of same. Was just thinking while walking the dog, after a night shift. After all the calls I've seen come through the comm. centre.
Suicide attempts, some are jokes, while a few are serious.
The people who have died in various ways from car accidents to homicides to letting your loved one find you swinging in the basement or garage.
From the people who haven't been heard from in a few days and are found deceased in their residence. To the ones passing away suddenly for no reason.
People of all ages, the elderly who make it to a decent age and have lived a full life to the ones that don't and should have. To the ones taken away suddenly and the ones that should be.
You still only get one.
I've heard officers deliver 2 babies on my platoon. Over the phone as the babes aren't waiting for no hospital and have come too suddenly.
It brings tears to my eyes to hear a new baby come into the world. I don't know and never will know these people.
So why do I get emotional? Because I recognize the sound of life, of hope and dreams.
Also because I'm a train wreck when it comes to things like life/death. Maybe I never acquired the skills to handle it. I always get sad at death, even when it's people I barely knew. I guess I realize the value of life.
And yet we still only get one. Maybe that's what makes it so special. Because you know whenever you have more than one of anything its not special anymore.
Cheers,
Blue

Random And Old Navy

All stolen from The Chive KCCO BFM!

Weird

Have you been walking on the street, pass somebody and for unexplained reasons have an overwhelming urge to turn around?
And when you do, the other person also turns and looks as well? At you?
Just had it happen to me. Whatthehellisthat?
Some kind of extra sensory perception we unconsciously do?
And then there's this.

Bingo!

I've been looking for this all my life!

Umm, Yah Actually I Do

I Wish

Gandalf Being A Dick

Make It Stop!

Idiots...they walk among us...with birdseed apparently

It Wouldn't Get Any Better

No Explanation Needed

Life Advice

Celebrities just love meeting their fans

Mmm, burger

But what's the other 49%?

More England

                                          The Roman wall that once surrounded Londinium 

Our Barista at Starbucks didn't know how Rachael was spelt obviously. Plus every Starbucks I visited, they all do the same thing, serve you your drink with the lid on. I just gotta take it off to go over to the condiment bar, then it usually leaks after that. Don't know why they serve it like that. 

The band that announced my arrival at Buckingham Palace 

Some fans that were waiting for me to arrive  

My hotel in London. 

House of Parliament 

Me, above the house of Parliament on the London Eye. 

The Temple Church. Built by the Knights Templar, the order of crusading monks founded to protect pilgrims on their way to and from Jerusalem in the 12th century. 

Not London Bridge, Tower Bridge 

Medieval wall built on top of the Roman Wall. Note the difference in style, the Roman wall is on the bottom with crisp, clean angles. the medieval one is haphazard almost. They didn't have the lasers the Romans had from the aliens to make their crisp clean lines. 

Monument to the Great Fire in 1666 built by Sir Christopher Wren. It has 311 steps and you find out just how out of shape you are when you climb them. Great views of London for only 3£! 

The cheapest sight seeing anywhere! The length of the monument when laid down to the north, the tip lands on the spot where the fire started, in the Kings Baker shop. 

I would have spit on this guys head, but well. There was no where to hide on the top deck. 

In the old days if you were caught masturbating they would chop off your hands and feet and make you look at Medusa unless some old guy got to watch. Or the other reason could be some clumsy oaf didn't pack this statue of what is believed to be Dionysos the god of wine well enough for the trip. 

Monument to Vice Admiral Horatio Nelson in Trafalgar Square.  Toughest bastard that ever walked the face of the earth. He beat the Spanish and the French not just with one arm tied behind his back because he didn't have a right arm. He had lost his right arm in a naval battle years earlier. But also with only one eye which was also the result of a previous battle. Reportedly within a half hour after losing his arm he was back on deck issuing orders. None of this "I have the sniffles/ it's a long weekend/ not feeling the best so I'm not coming to work today" for this lad. NOOOOOO, after he conquered the world, he beat up a grizzly bear and a great white shark in a tag team showdown match, then went and ate parts of Egypt creating the Suez canal. 

HMS Victory. Good thing they didn't name it HMS Loser or HMS Better Luck Next Time or some such. Otherwise they wouldn't have won. 

My beautiful offspring. One of three. 

Rocks the aliens placed to screw with our heads. 

2 of 3 of my beautiful offspring at the Roman Baths in...Bath. 

 The view from Solsbury Hill.

Bridge in Castle Combe

Castle Combe, we did not stay here. Previous night in Trowbridge the owner of the B&B we stayed at told us to have a look here if we could. Beautiful little town. 

 You've heard of free range chickens haven't you? 

More Castle Combe 

Medieval entranceway to Salisbury 

The Shambles in York 

York is a walled city and was founded by the Romans in 71 AD.  The Shambles were where they once had open air butchers, since hygiene and cleanliness weren't at the top of the list back then. The gutter in the middle of the street was filled with waste, offal, blood. Well, you get the idea. Some of the buildings date back to the 14th century. 

Oh! That's not very PC now is it? 

Look on the right. 

Part of the original wall that surrounded York 

St. Mary's Abbey. Once the richest abbey in all of northern England, King Henry VIII started the "dissolution of the monasteries" in 1536,  disbanding all monasteries, convents, friaries, and priories in England, Ireland and Wales. He appropriated their income, disposed of their assets and provided for former members. 

St. Mary's was one of the largest landowners in the area. This was an action that had been brewing for years if not centuries. The end result of all this was Henry was head of the church now and also able to annul his marriage to Catharine of Aragon because he was busy banging Anne Boleyn. There's some other stuff about why this happened to the Abbey's, but it's really boring.   

Another view of St. Mary's. 

I'm Baaaaaack!

     Just have returned home after 16 days in the U.K. Now I know why people travel to europe. Holy Crap is that an amazing place! Lots of history, sites to see, drinks to be drunk, or vice versa.
By the way, I do have to admit something. Got accosted by a drunk scotsman the night before I came home. Think he was asking for bus fare. Not sure. This is around 1030 at night, I saw him at 1 pm in the afternoon on the Royal Mile walking around. I recognized his dog. No, I am mean hearted and did not give him any money. Or is that Yes, I am mean hearted because Ah dinnae ken whit e was on aboot!
In other words, a drunk scotchman is absolutely impossible to understand.
     So now I am going to post what I did EVERYSINGLEDAY. No, not really. I'll just post things I remember and took notes on. And picshures. If I ever get them.
     We had brought over my daughters camera, a Nikon D90 to take pictures with. Well, it's semi the family camera as she has finished with school for now. Anyways, was really nice to start taking photo's again like I used to in my teen years. Had to ask my other daughters boyfriend about functions on the camera. Dang new fangled digital technology!
     Here's a hint for anyone travelling...when you go and you think you want to download pictures to a usb stick just because you want to be pre-cautious and not lose any pictures. Remember where the hell you put the stick! Leaving it to the last minute, literally, I paid 38 quid for a 8 GB stick at the "duty free shops". That would be hmmm. $60 Cdn. WTF? Over here I could have bought two for that kind of money! I call boolshite on that.
     The other reason I wanted to put them on stick was because my daughters were leaving from Scotland and going to France (because they didn't feel they had been abused enough). And I wanted to A.) bring my pictures home. B.) was worried the camera might get stolen.  As it happens when we downloaded the first week, there was only couple hundred shots left. Yes, that's still a lot I hear you say. Keep in mind we downloaded over 500 pictures and still had another full week to go. And in retrospect am thinking I still didn't take enough, allowing for crappy shots, spoilt shots with French tourists in there. Which would bring me down to 18 good pictures.

Good work ethic there, even when they are sick they work

The London Eye taken from opposite side of the Thames. The missing capsule at top was flung off due to loose bolts and 15 people perished. 

Lol 

Queen Elizabeth-The Queen Mother and King George VI

(not really these are just statues. I'm not 100% certain but their bodies may be inside) 

Buckingham Palace, no, not Lindsay Buckingham from Fleetwood Mac. This was built by the Duke of Buckingham who invited the King over for a baguette (because beating the French as many times as possible wasn't enough, they really had to rub it in by stealing their bread as well), and the King said "I like your new house" to which the Duke said, "Thank you my lord." The King then said, "No, I REALLY like your house." 

And he got it for 28,000 £. Keep in mind this was early 1761 and was not as big as it is today. Still, quite the deal. What's the Duke going to say? "No your royal highness, I appreciate your offer however it is my house and it's not for sale". After which he most likely would have been imprisoned in the tower for the rest of his life.  

  

Changing of the guard 

Tulips 

(duh!) 

Ok, enough for today. Chat later.