Weird Times (originally written after the great ontario quake of '10)

    Had a nap two days ago to get ready for night shift. Woke up to our closet mirrored doors rattling against each other. The only time this occurs is A.) Tabitha the nuclear projectile vomit kitty is in my closet and turning around, or trying to get in there or B.) EARTHQUAAAAAKE!, with my luck I'd be George Kennedy this time and not Charlton Heston. Damnit! Ok, nevermind that reference kids.
I looked at the dog, he (as usual) was napping with me on his bed across the room. He was looking at me with those wide eyes that seemed to say "Do you have any idea what the hell is going on here?"
I decided it was a truck going by. A very long truck. And went back to sleep.
Went into work later and found out on the news on the way in that it was a quake. And that of course all hell broke loose on 911. Approx 30 some odd 911 calls waiting to be answered in the queue, all of them saying. "I think there's someone trying to break into my house" or "Is that a quake I feel?" Because yes, both of those are worth 911 calls when you have no clue what is going on. Not really, I just can't really can't call people f'ing morons on taped lines. Shortens the career path somewhat. Although....If I won a good lottery like say 5 or 10 mill, I'd be willing to sacrifice myself to find out if that theory is true or not.