Speechless- Almost

Came across the following question on Yahoo Answers a few minutes ago. 

"How can I get my electric turned back on?

I have 4 children: 6, 5, 1, and 4 monthes. My electric has been turned off. I have already went to dhhr and they will only pay part of it. I also called Salvation Army and they said they do not have any money now. I need 244.72 to get it turned back on!! Help please!!"

And never-mind the fact she is asking publicly for money, which some do-gooder replied for her to pay her bill. I want to know how she posted this if her electrical is off. Is she using her laptop on battery and stealing the neighbours bandwidth? Using her cellphone to ask this question? And how did she end up with a 1 yr old AND a 4 month old? 

Lets see, this will involve some math and bending the laws of reality so if she gets pregnant in on say Jan 1, delivers it Sep 30 then has sex again on Oct 1 and delivers that one the following July her first one would be still only be 13 months old with a 4 month old sibling in Oct. 

Ok thats bizarre since normally after the female gives birth and has released her death grip on her husbands trachea or testicles (because she whispered something he couldn't hear so he bent over, giving her easy reach to his throat, and/or he was standing beside her giving her moral encouragement "You're doing great honey!" As his wife's head spins around exorcist like from the latest contraction and a hand shoots out to his nuts and twists them. "IS THAT YOU'RE DOING GREAT HONEY ENOUGH FOR YA?" she screams). 

I would like to say I have mine back, but somedays I'm not so sure. 

I still remember almost having a domestic in the delivery room when our first was born. And I also remember my wife's doctor was smiling about it beneath her mask (I could see the crinkle lines in her eyes). 

I would like to say I am like the majority of men who were not allowed to even look at their wife for at least a month after she has given birth. However I have not been in the army so I can't say I'm a major. 

I know this makes no sense what so ever, just having trouble ending i....