Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Speechless- Almost
Came across the following question on Yahoo Answers a few minutes ago.
"How can I get my electric turned back on?
I have 4 children: 6, 5, 1, and 4 monthes. My electric has been turned off. I have already went to dhhr and they will only pay part of it. I also called Salvation Army and they said they do not have any money now. I need 244.72 to get it turned back on!! Help please!!"
And never-mind the fact she is asking publicly for money, which some do-gooder replied for her to pay her bill. I want to know how she posted this if her electrical is off. Is she using her laptop on battery and stealing the neighbours bandwidth? Using her cellphone to ask this question? And how did she end up with a 1 yr old AND a 4 month old?
Lets see, this will involve some math and bending the laws of reality so if she gets pregnant in on say Jan 1, delivers it Sep 30 then has sex again on Oct 1 and delivers that one the following July her first one would be still only be 13 months old with a 4 month old sibling in Oct.
Ok thats bizarre since normally after the female gives birth and has released her death grip on her husbands trachea or testicles (because she whispered something he couldn't hear so he bent over, giving her easy reach to his throat, and/or he was standing beside her giving her moral encouragement "You're doing great honey!" As his wife's head spins around exorcist like from the latest contraction and a hand shoots out to his nuts and twists them. "IS THAT YOU'RE DOING GREAT HONEY ENOUGH FOR YA?" she screams).
I would like to say I have mine back, but somedays I'm not so sure.
I still remember almost having a domestic in the delivery room when our first was born. And I also remember my wife's doctor was smiling about it beneath her mask (I could see the crinkle lines in her eyes).
I would like to say I am like the majority of men who were not allowed to even look at their wife for at least a month after she has given birth. However I have not been in the army so I can't say I'm a major.
I know this makes no sense what so ever, just having trouble ending i....
Monday, March 29, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
The Human Race aka The Work Rant
Who decided it was a race? And where is the finish line? DO I win if I have most toys when I die? What do I win? And don't be vague about it, I need to know tangible things that will help me after I'm gone.
I have said it before, well maybe not here...more most likely at work. And I'll say it again. We humans are a sorry vindictive, spiteful, resentful, cruel, grudging, unrelenting and STUPID race. I guess it's just our nature to be such dicks about such things as neighbours, ex spouses, etc. I don't like my neighbour so I'll just call the police and let them deal with the jerks, and maaaybe they will get caught doing something illegal that will give them more grief. Yah, that's the ticket! Or even better is using the police as a tool to cause grief to the ex because our marriage didn't work out so I'll just harass the shit out of that deadbeat.
You might catch my drift, been busy day shifts and I don't know what's worse. Seeing/hearing the call takers deal with the various forms of complaints that come in, and yes they do yell at them sometimes. Or seeing how pathetic our lives are that we must call the police to deal with my problem because I'm too afraid to talk to another human and work it out.
I blame the media for a lot of this. Sensationalism journalism has caused people to lose their reasoning skills. (I don't know what else to call it, perhaps their sanity?) All these stories out there about murders, assaults, rape, etc. has given a lot of people fear to talk to their neighbour or that guy down the road. While they could have worked something out- one of them calls the police, wastes our time, public tax dollars on something that could have been solved in 2 minutes by speaking to each other properly.
I mentioned that the call takers do yell at callers sometimes. Don't mean to mislead anyone, this is in extreme cases where the caller won't answer questions that we need and usually they are yelling at the call taker, being obnoxious, rude. Sometimes thats the only way we can get their attention, sadly, to be louder than they are. Not something I like to see. Prefer to see them speak softly so the other person has to stop and concentrate which of course stops them from yelling. Not what I would call "our finest hour". Just lowering ourselves and we're supposed to be the professionals.
And here's something else that I do say and if I were a better writer I could probably document it and you would understand better- other than that you would need to spend a bit of time in a communication centre to understand fully. I am always astounded and amazed that we as humans have come this far, having computers and rockets, moon landings, etc when we are such a petty stupid race. When you have someone attempting to lure you into their car, don't wait until tomorrow to call the police to report it. It's kind of um....IMPORTANT! Your 78 year old mother went out for a walk this morning and she has the start of Alzheimer's. Don't call us 6 hours after she is overdue because now you're beginning to worry! I don't even know your mother and I worry that we won't find her in time, i.e. worst case scenario.
This isn't a game, we're not playing hide and seek with the old folks. Oh I know you just wanted to make sure they had a good head start because their walker hinders their ability to walk fast. Believe me, that walker is just for show, they boogie when they know no one is looking.
I know some people don't call because they think it is a stupid reason to call. Let the person answering the phone decide if it is not worth our time, they are paid to make that decision. You would be surprised what we will go for. It's always better to call when the incident occurs, not every cop out there has their portable CSI lab with them and also TV wouldn't just make stuff up about catching the bad guy using super expensive laboratory methods with minimal evidence just so bad actors that take off their sunglasses when they are making an important point are employed would they? Naw, I didn't think so either.
I have said it before, well maybe not here...more most likely at work. And I'll say it again. We humans are a sorry vindictive, spiteful, resentful, cruel, grudging, unrelenting and STUPID race. I guess it's just our nature to be such dicks about such things as neighbours, ex spouses, etc. I don't like my neighbour so I'll just call the police and let them deal with the jerks, and maaaybe they will get caught doing something illegal that will give them more grief. Yah, that's the ticket! Or even better is using the police as a tool to cause grief to the ex because our marriage didn't work out so I'll just harass the shit out of that deadbeat.
You might catch my drift, been busy day shifts and I don't know what's worse. Seeing/hearing the call takers deal with the various forms of complaints that come in, and yes they do yell at them sometimes. Or seeing how pathetic our lives are that we must call the police to deal with my problem because I'm too afraid to talk to another human and work it out.
I blame the media for a lot of this. Sensationalism journalism has caused people to lose their reasoning skills. (I don't know what else to call it, perhaps their sanity?) All these stories out there about murders, assaults, rape, etc. has given a lot of people fear to talk to their neighbour or that guy down the road. While they could have worked something out- one of them calls the police, wastes our time, public tax dollars on something that could have been solved in 2 minutes by speaking to each other properly.
I mentioned that the call takers do yell at callers sometimes. Don't mean to mislead anyone, this is in extreme cases where the caller won't answer questions that we need and usually they are yelling at the call taker, being obnoxious, rude. Sometimes thats the only way we can get their attention, sadly, to be louder than they are. Not something I like to see. Prefer to see them speak softly so the other person has to stop and concentrate which of course stops them from yelling. Not what I would call "our finest hour". Just lowering ourselves and we're supposed to be the professionals.
And here's something else that I do say and if I were a better writer I could probably document it and you would understand better- other than that you would need to spend a bit of time in a communication centre to understand fully. I am always astounded and amazed that we as humans have come this far, having computers and rockets, moon landings, etc when we are such a petty stupid race. When you have someone attempting to lure you into their car, don't wait until tomorrow to call the police to report it. It's kind of um....IMPORTANT! Your 78 year old mother went out for a walk this morning and she has the start of Alzheimer's. Don't call us 6 hours after she is overdue because now you're beginning to worry! I don't even know your mother and I worry that we won't find her in time, i.e. worst case scenario.
This isn't a game, we're not playing hide and seek with the old folks. Oh I know you just wanted to make sure they had a good head start because their walker hinders their ability to walk fast. Believe me, that walker is just for show, they boogie when they know no one is looking.
I know some people don't call because they think it is a stupid reason to call. Let the person answering the phone decide if it is not worth our time, they are paid to make that decision. You would be surprised what we will go for. It's always better to call when the incident occurs, not every cop out there has their portable CSI lab with them and also TV wouldn't just make stuff up about catching the bad guy using super expensive laboratory methods with minimal evidence just so bad actors that take off their sunglasses when they are making an important point are employed would they? Naw, I didn't think so either.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Post This!
I had 17 posts in February? And it was a short month? Wow, look at me go. And only 5 so far in March (Lohuu-zer!). I think it's time for a picture....of something,
Not particularly funny, but it has Monkeeeys! My favourite simian. And I don't for the life of me I don't know why. Perhaps because they seem more human than some I know? Or that I'm the one that could be in their place?
Um, yah, thats it!
And yes I am going to keep putting in sound bites because I like them, for this post at least since my mind if so focussed like a laser beam....lasers....hmmm....sharks.....heyyyy, I think we're onto
something here
Monday, March 22, 2010
Time Passages
Time flies.....eh? Just took a look at my blog and realized I have not come up with something blog worthy in a couple weeks and should really stop by. I mean since it's mine and all.
So I borrowed (stole) off another blog the Theme Song Of The Day. Since I decided we all do need theme songs for those quiet moments in our life and this one fits to kick ass to. Since my memory is so bad (it never used to be oh about 20 frickin years ago!), I can't remember (naturally) where I saw it, tv show or movie, probably tv show. About having a theme song like background music for your life. And it plays constantly. I think there should be a law that everyone should have that. Although now that I've reflected on it for all of two seconds, perhaps not. I'd either a) get sick of that damn song following me around everywhere, or b) run into someone else who has the same song and they wouldn't be playing at the same time and with the artists these days might even be different ones....awkwaaaaard! Like Tears for Fears "Mad World" vs Gary Jules cover of it.
And here I thought I had nothing to say. Ok so it's not earthshattering but since when is it ever? I have a new follower. She must be lost, stumbled in, signed up and is now saying "Oh crap, how do I get out of this one?"
If she's anything like my wife - who got stuck in a wall in second life. Emma and I have decided we are going to mount a rescue mission. The poor avatar has only been stuck in the wall for like a year and a half. Will let you know how it goes. Have to go put on our camo makeup.
So I borrowed (stole) off another blog the Theme Song Of The Day. Since I decided we all do need theme songs for those quiet moments in our life and this one fits to kick ass to. Since my memory is so bad (it never used to be oh about 20 frickin years ago!), I can't remember (naturally) where I saw it, tv show or movie, probably tv show. About having a theme song like background music for your life. And it plays constantly. I think there should be a law that everyone should have that. Although now that I've reflected on it for all of two seconds, perhaps not. I'd either a) get sick of that damn song following me around everywhere, or b) run into someone else who has the same song and they wouldn't be playing at the same time and with the artists these days might even be different ones....awkwaaaaard! Like Tears for Fears "Mad World" vs Gary Jules cover of it.
And here I thought I had nothing to say. Ok so it's not earthshattering but since when is it ever? I have a new follower. She must be lost, stumbled in, signed up and is now saying "Oh crap, how do I get out of this one?"
If she's anything like my wife - who got stuck in a wall in second life. Emma and I have decided we are going to mount a rescue mission. The poor avatar has only been stuck in the wall for like a year and a half. Will let you know how it goes. Have to go put on our camo makeup.
Everyone Should Have One
This is your Theme Song for today. For every situation where you must do something, confront the unknown, rise to the occasion, make a decision, or spring into action, this song will play in your head. You will rise to the occasion, you will fulfill the promise of this, your Theme Song for today. There is nothing you can’t do. Why? Because you’re so damn cool that this is your Theme Song, that’s why!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Why Maple Leaf Fans Hate Montreal Fans
Here you are minding your own business, and look what happens. Some Montreal fan sucker punchs you!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Should I Even Bother?
Best hockey game I have seen in a long time. That pretty much sums it up. We rocked, paybacks a bitch, the U.S. brought the game and man did they play. And what did Coke do? Just showed possibly the best commercial ever for a hockey nation with a history as rich as ours with music that fits us.
And right after the game? They switched out the words to
"Lets make sure- everyone knows- whose game- they're playing"
to
"Now they know- whose game- they're playing"
Isn't advertising amazing?
Fuck Yea! No, I mean that we won, who cares about the stupid advertising!
All they needed was Alexander Keith with that music. hah.
And right after the game? They switched out the words to
"Lets make sure- everyone knows- whose game- they're playing"
to
"Now they know- whose game- they're playing"
Isn't advertising amazing?
Fuck Yea! No, I mean that we won, who cares about the stupid advertising!
All they needed was Alexander Keith with that music. hah.
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About Me
- Blue aka "The Creeper"
- I work at a 911 centre. Yes, CENTRE! I am Canadian! So, yes I do have some stories. Not as many as you might think as you do tend to get jaded working in that environment for any length of time. And you start to think of everyone as stupid, immature, and wonder how we ever survived the dark ages as a race. We need more chlorine in the gene pool! Most people I find are afraid. Afraid of life, afraid of each other, afraid of failure, afraid of success. You big fraidy cats! Wait till the zombies come, now that's something to be truly afraid of!